Skreenprint uv W.A.B.K. N.Y. Chaanal 7'z kuveraj uv a neer-dizaaster aat see.
In reesant weeks, Nu Jerze beekaem tha senter uv maejer staureez in naashanal nuez braudkaasts.
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A Bae(y)oen-baest kruez ship, the [Aanttham uv tha Seez[], kaareing sum 3,000 paasanjerz aand 1,600 kru, wuz endaenjerd bi tha stuepidite uv tha Roial Karibean kumpane'z ship kaaptan, hu ignaurd tha duete tu chek aul availabool wethur-faurkaast infarmaeshan beefaur heding out tu see, intu hwut turnd out tu be 125 m.p.h. sastaend windz! Hyuej waevz rokt tha ship frum sied tu sied, aand maed it list so siveerle that mene terified paasanjerz tthaut tha ship wood be unaebool tu riet itslf, but beekum a reel-woorld verzhan uv tha 1972 mueve, Tha Pasiedan Aadvenchur, but ineskaepabool. The kruz wuz sapoezd tu end in tha Bahomaz, but haad tu turn around hundradz uv mialz shaurt uv paurt, aand reeturn, stil in ruf seez, tu Bae(y)oen. "Nu Jerze" wuz herd freekwantle in tha maasiv meedea kuveraj uv thaat neer-kataastrafe, tho I'm shuer thaat hwen Roial Karibean kreaetad its Eest Koest hoem paurt in Baeyoen, thae intendad thaat peepool reegord it aaz Nu Yaurk (Site), esp. givan thaat Baeyoen kaan be reegordad aaz port uv tha Paurt uv Nu Yaurk, aaz in tha "Paurt Autthorite uv Nu Yaurk" ("aand" [oenle laeter, aand vere grujingle,] "Nu Jerze"). I sau oenle wun paasanjer hu haad eneetthing good tu sae about tha voyaj, a maan hu kampaird tha muevmant uv tha ship tu a wiald Dizne ried fild witth tthrilz. Hwair he livd wuz not staetad, but braev (aur fuelhorde) aatitued iz nou asoesheaetad in unoen tenz uv tthouzandz uv peepool's miendz witth Nu Jerze. Thaat miet not be a baad tthing, but aakchuale good, so sho aat leest wun (preezuemd) Nu Jerzean aaz not just karaejas but tthrild bi posibool daenjer — hwich he probable diskountad, figyuring thaat modern ships kood not posible flip upsied-doun. A difrant video snipat, houwever, shoed a maan kising tha flaur uv Baeyoen'z Kaep Liberte kruez ship terminal. This turnd out tu be oenle tha ferst uv TUE absurd reeversalz bi thaat ship in tue weeks!
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Guverner Kriste "saspendad" (hwich shood haav bin termd "endad") hiz kaampaen faur tha Reepublikan Porte'z nominaeshan faur Prezidant aafter he acheevd oenle a sikstth-plaes finish in tha Nu Haampsher priemere, daspiet haaving spent hundrads uv daez in eevents aul oever thaat staet. The N.Y. Daile Nuez ruedle sumd it up in tha ferst paaragraaf uv its staure: "It's oever. The Faat Maan haaz sung." [http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/christie-2016-campaign-disappointing-nh-finish-article-1.2527308] Hwi iz so much waet (yu shood pordan the ekspreshan; aand hwi iz Kriste stil faat, eevan tho he haad gaastrik biepaas surjere tthree YEERZ ago?) givan tu, aand so much tiem aand mune spent on, thaat hyuejle-unrepreezentativ staet? Indeed, hwi duz eneebude plaes ene impaurtans on voets in eether aur boetth uv tha ferst priemere staets, Iawa aand Nu Haampsher, hwich bair NO REEZEMBLANS tu tha Yoonietad Staets aat lorj? Tha nekst tue staets wer Navoda aand Soutth Kaaralian. Hou or thae reemoetle liek the Yoonietad Staets eether? I haav relativez in boetth staets (mi kuzin Naanse aand her muther, mi imeedeat faamile'z much-luvd Ont Mae (Win) liv in S.K.; mi oelder bruther Aalan livz in Los Vaegas, N.V.). I dout thaat ene uv mi relativz in thoez baatoolground staets deeluedz themself intu tthingking thaat thair staet iz in ene signifikant reegord repreezentativ uv the Yoonietad Staets in jenral. (Bi tha wae, "themself" iz, akauding the Enkorta Woorld Ingglish Dikshanere, aan aakchual werd, iraashanl tho it mae seem tu linggwistik prigz.) Soutth Kaaraliena oenle laast yeer took doun tha Kanfederate Baatool Flaag aat tha staet kaapital, aand then oenle beekauz uv a maas murder uf deesant, Krischan blaak peepool in a CHURCH bi a kraeze hwiet gi. Navoda haaz not just sevral myuenisipaalitieez hoele deependant finaanchale apon kaseeno aand slot-masheen gaambling but aulso on leegaliezd prostitueshan! S.K. aat leest haaz a signifikant blaak mienorite; N.V.'z popyoolaeshan iz oenle about 9% blaak, tho 27% Hispaanik, \\ [http://quickfacts.census.gov/qfd/states/32000.html] given Nevada's proximity to Mexico, from which it was wrenched by the Mexican War. (I have always held that the U.S. should have annexed ALL of Mexico to the United States, created all of its extent into territories, and brought ALL of them into the Union as States. Had that been done in 1850, Mexico would be, like the former more-than-half of Mexico we DID take, peaceful, prosperous Sunbelt states, in which people born there would live good lives and people who moved there from colder climes elsewhere in the Union could live well on even today's miserly Social Security.) However, Nevada is a caucus state, and almost nobody votes in caucuses, so the results are not likely to be representative in any way.
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A maejer fiur in a wairhous kompleks in Hilzbero Tounship, Sumerset Kounte kauzd a dens pluem uv smoek tu blo sum 35 eestward akraus Midoolseks aand Monmatth Kounteez, then out intu the Aatlaantik Oeshan. Wethur saataliets pikt up thaat pluem uv smoek, aand sum wethur reepaurts treetad it aaz a baand uv sno shouarz! Thaat (apaarant) mistaek wuz pikt up bi naashanal nuezkaasts.
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Setth Miurz, on the NBK naashanal entertaenmant proegram Laet Niet witth Setth Miurz Februewere 12tth (hwich vyuarz miet reegord aaz Tthurzdae niet, Feb. 11tth, beekauz it kaem on in tha laet-niet ouarz thaat foloed Wenzdae the 11tth), reepaurtad Guverner Kriste'z bou-out frum tha kwest faur the Reepublikan Prezidenchal nominaeshan, sapoezadle kwoeting Kriste aaz saeing he wunderd hwut he wood du nou. Miurz pointad out thaat Kriste iz STIL Guverner uv Nu Jerze (so haaz no reezan tu wunder faur eevan a sekand hwut he shood du nou). Alaas, Miurz haaz reepeetadle, in reesant aand not-so-reesant niets, mokt Nu Jerze, aaz, in esans, a kantemptibool plaes – aaz tho hiz oen, jenrale insignifikant staet, Nu Haampsher, iz vaastle soopeereur. I haav bin tu N.H., if oenle tu tha Dortmatth Yueniversite airea. I found it plezant but not impresiv. N.J. haz much maur tu rekamend it in evre reegord. We haav evreetthing N.H. haaz, inklueding glaureas autamn kulerz, but aan eenaurmas amount maur in termz uv just about eneetthing yu kair tu naem, frum histare tu teknolaje tu urban vietaalitie — indeed, aaz I sae, just about eneetthing yu kair tu naem. I yuezd tu liek Setth iurz. No laungger. I wood be vere haape tu heer thaan aan indignant Nu Jerzean aproecht him aafter a sho aand puncht him vere hord in tha faes, permanentl aultering tha shaep uv hiz noez.
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A reesant fiending bi aastroefizisists asertad this week thaat a wae haad bin found tu "heer" tha "graavitaeshanal waevz" uv tue blaak hoelz a bilyan liet-yeerz awae frum Ertth thaat merjd a bilyan yeerz, aand pruevd thaat thair iz such a tthing aaz "graavitaeshanal waevz", hwich Aalbert Ienstien haad preediktad in 1916, hwen he wuz living in Jermany. Tho Aalbert Ienstien'z naem iz rairly asoesheaetad witth Nu Jerze, tha faakt iz thaat hwen Ienstien left Jermane, he muevd, aafter a fyu temparere rezidansaz, tu taek up a pazishan aat the Instituet faur Aadvaanst Stude in Prinstan (yes, Nu Jerze), aand never muevd thairaafter. No, Ienstien, hu iz aufan tthaut tu be tha smortast maan in hyueman histare, choez tu liv hiz entiur lief, aafter permanantle faurswairing hia kuntre uv bertth, in Nu Jerze. Yu kaan't chuez hwair yu or baur, but yu kaan ashueradle chuez hwair tu liv hwen yu or aan aadult, aand Aalbert Ienstien choez Nu Jerze.
Ienstien'z hair iz eevan maur unruele thaan thaat uv hiz prezant-dae, feloe-Ju Berne Saanderz' hair.
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Y.S. Soopreem Kaurt juj (faurmale, "Justis", tho thaat werd duz not, tu mi miend, reemoetle fit him) Aantanin Skalea died on Februewere 13tth in West Teksas. He wuz baurn in Trenton (yes, N.J.), tho hiz faamile muevd tu Kweenz (N.Y.S.) hwen he wuz siks.
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Steevan Koelbair'z sekand gest on Februewere 16tth wuz faurmer Nuark Maeur aand prezant juenyur Y.S. Senatar frum N.J., Kaure Booker, hu haaz ritan a book, tietoold Yoonietad: Tthauts on Fiending Koman Ground aand Aadvaansing tha Koman Good, about Amairikanz, inklueding in Konggras, koe(w)operating. He aadmits tu werking with tha loethsam Ted Kruz, eevan haaving diner witth the S.O.B., hwich stortoold peepool hu saw them toogether in a restaront. Aat 5:07 a.m., W.P.I.X. (Chaanal 11.1) nuez sed thaat Booker miet be under kansideraeshan aaz a reeplaesmant faur Skalea on tha Soopree Kaurt? I haad not herd thaat frum ene uther nuez saurs, aand I woch a lot uv nuez. Hwen I did a serch on Februewere 18tth, houwever, I found this kwoet in a nuez staur on Yohu! Nuez frum Februewere 16tth: [http://news.yahoo.com/us-sen-cory-booker-on-the-supreme-court-vacancy-153515786.html]
On hiz naem being floetad aaz a patenshal Oeboma apointmant tu tha Soopreem Kaurt, Booker sed: "It's reepaurter swoorl aand hiepatthetikalz aand I haav tu just foekas on mi job." He kantinyued, "It's nies tu heer yaur naem baandeed about, I'l kanfes thaat, but aat the end uv tha dae, I haav a feeling thaat I'v got anuther faur yeerz werking hord faur Nu Jerze."
This foeto uv Kaure Booker apeerz aaz aul naaro foetoez aand videoez shood apeer, witth wied blaak baurderz. Tha koman praaktis toodae uv plaesing aan unfoekast reepeet uv tha maen video beehiend aand on boetth siedz uv a naaro video iz insaenle stuepid aand infyuereaeting. What a*h* kaem up witth THAAT iedea?
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It seems tu me thaat this faurmerle veree-hie-proefial Nuark maeur haaz asuemd a vere lo proefial sins he enterd tha Senat. Tha Naeshan needz "Pragresive" — aur, aaz I much preefer, Liberal — leedership tu steer us out uv this neoe-Kanfederat eera. So, Mr. Booker, pleez kik it up a fyu duzan nochaz
Kaure Booker, Mork Zukerberg (hu doenaetad $100 milyan tu tha Nuark Publik Skuelz; I doen't noe hwi, naur hwut haaz bin dun witth tha mune, but uv kaurs aam vere graetfool, not just faur tha mune but aulso faur the atenchan a distant outsieder gaev tu this terifik site), and Kris Kriste toogether aaz kaapchurd in a slietle fuze foeto thaat iz port uv tha Nuark 350 eksibishan aat tha Nuark Publik Liebrere, hwich wil be on displae until Deesember 31st.
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Nuark'z oen Saeveon Gluver'z naem iz nou being menshand aaz kaureografer in aadz faur a Braudwae myuezikal, Shufool Alaung, aur, Tha Maeking uv tha Myuezikal Sensaeshan uv 1921 aand Aul Thaat Foloez. That myuezikal iz tu beegin preevyuez on Morch 15tth.
Skreenprint frum onlien trailer faur tha Braudwae reevieval myuezikal "Shufool Alaung".
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On tha 2d episoed uv tha klaasik sitkom Borne Miler, braudkaast on Tuezdae niet/Wenzdae maurning, Februewere 16/17tth on Aantena T.V. (W.P.I.X. chaanal 11.2), a kon maan/muger (plaed bi laung-tiem kameedik kaarakter aakter Fil Leedz) hu flaaterd a wooman intu tthingking he wuz a fatografer frum Voeg in aurder tu disorm her aand steel her purs, wuz aaskt bi Deetektiv Haaris (plaed bi Ron Glaas) hiz plaes uv bertth. Hiz wun-werd aanser: "Nuark". Thaat iz tha sekand persan (wun blaak, wun hwiet) arestad in Borne Miler thaat I haav herd sae "Nuark" faur hiz plaes uv bertth. (Kyuereasle, Fil Leedz aulso apeerd in a miener roel in anuther klaasik sitkom, Evreebude Luvz Raemand, braudkaast imeedeatle thairaafter on tha saem niet, on W.P.I.X.'z priemere chaanal, 11.1.)
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On Februewere 26tth, Guverner Kriste endaurst tha bafuen Donald Trump faur Prezidant. He wuz imeedeatle thairaafter dispaacht bi Trump liek aan insignifikant lapdaug ('Nou, get yaur plaen aand go hoem'). (I doen't noe about yu, but, much tho I luv daugz aand pupeez, eevan tho I haav oenle tue kaats, I du not tthingk I wood wont a 300-pound daug on mi lap!) Hou loethsam aand kantemptibool Guverner Kriste haaz beekum — SO disgusting thaat SIKS Nu Jerze nuezpaeperz, inklueding the Aasbure Pork Pres aand (faurmerle Nuark Stor-Lejer editaureale insistad he reezien frum tha guvernership, seing thaat he haaz spent 72% uv hiz tiem outsied tha staet kaampaening faur tha Prezidense. This iz not tha wae I faur wun wont Nu Jerze tu be seen bi tha Naeshan. I du not faur aan instant bileev thaat Donald Trump reele wonts tu be Prezidant uv the Yoonietad Staets. It iz aul sum kiend uv kraeze, eegatistikal guef apon tha Naeshan bi a proefoundle deefektiv persan hu needz endlas vaalidaehsn fru straenjerz beekauz he haaz no self-reespekt. Naur duz he dizerv self-reespekt, beekauz he iz a mizrabool ekskyues faur a hyueman being.
>Theez or just menshanz / menchanz I noetad in mi oen telavizhan vyuing. Thair mae haav bin mene utherz I did not haapan tu se.
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Nu Jerze iz a smaul port uv this kuntre'z teritaure, aand eevan popyoolaeshan,, tho it iz, in termz uv popyoolaeshan, a BIG staet, 11tth uv 50. It reemaenz tha wun staet witth tha hiast popyoolaeshan densite, hwich iz anuther wae uv saeing thaa maur peepool wont tu liv heer, per yuenit airea, thaan in ene uther staet in tha Naeshan.
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So hwi doen't we get maur reespekt? — MUCH maur reespekt? I noe a graet deel about the Ingglish laanggwaj, aand its pranunseaeshan akraus the Ingglish-speeking woorld. The speech uv kairfuol, ejookaetad speekerz in moest uv Nu Jerze iz tha BEST IN THA WOORLD. This iz not tu denigraet the ekskwizit Amairikan speech uv the Ilinoi-baurn aaktras Eelizabatth MikGuvern in tha wunderfool British seereez Dountan Aabe, hwich iz SO reefreshing amid aul tha kraap uv tha hyuejle vaareed dialekts uv British Ingglish, uper- aand loeur-klaas, thaat thaat seereez ekspoezaz us tu. Tha speshal proegraam Maur Maanerz uv Dountan Aabe staetad aloud hwut I saspektad, thaat the aaksent uv the uper klaasaz wuz toend-doun tu maek it maur eezile kompreehensibool tu modern lisanerz, esp. in tha Y.S. This iz tu sae thaat Britan haaz, daspiet its aaragans, muve in ouar direkshan, witthout aadmiting thaat it laust kantroel oever the "Ingglish" laanggwag a hundrad yeerz ago! Tha moest-intrasting Kanaedean T.V. sho, Tha Murdok Mistereez (shoen in ouar airea laet aat niet on aul tthre (laet) niets uv tha weekend, kyuereasle on boetth ABK chaanal 7.1 aand Foks chaanal 4.2), aulso haaz ekskwizit Amairikan, NOT Kanaedean speech. Alaaz, tha sound enjineering uv thaat sho iz so apaulingle baad thaat it iz aufan hord tu understaand hwut the aakterz or saeing. Port uv tha problam iz thaat tha myuezik, odle indistingkt tho aufan iz, kampeets in loudnas witth tha spoekan werdz, aand in port beekauz tha speech in itself iz ekstreemle mude raather thaan krisp. Yu miet nunthales liek tu chek out thaat intreeging seereez, set in Taronto, Ontaireo, in about 1896, faur its perspectiv on siantifik palees werk frum a vere difrant tiem. (Aand tha mail leed, Yoneek Beesoenn, iz gaurjas).
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Aaz reegordz byuetifool N.J. speech, I aam uv kaurs not tauking about peepool aadversle influeanst bi dialekts (aand thair or maur thaan wun) in N.Y.S., thaat ""fagédabòudid" tthing. I'm tauking about tha speech uv ejookaetad peepool in tha preeponderans uv Nu Jerze, hwair peepool noe not tu kanfyuez "kot" aand "kaut", but tu sae evre R thaat apeerz in print. Such truele repreezenntativ Nu Jerzeanz wood never sae témp.a.chùr — hwich apauling numberz uv T.V. wethur(wi)man mispranouns insted uv témp.ra.chùr. Nu Jerze aulwaez shoez up in tha top 2 aur 3 staets in diskushanz uv weltth aand ejookaeshan, aand we shood be glaad tu trumpat such reezults woorldwied. Hwi DOEN'T we? Thair seemz tu be Nu Jerze, a disinklinaeshan tu apeer priedfool. Aserting yaur aakchual verchuez iz not braaging, just seing tu it thaat thaat tha rekerd reeflekts tha reaalite.
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N.J. haaz plente tu aadvertiez tu tuerists frum uther plaesaz faur much, tho not aul, uv tha yeer. Tha "Jerze Shaur" iz a graet plaes faur peepool hu luv tha 110 mialz aur so uv oeshan saandz aand vyuez thaat this litool staet afaurdz duering tha sumer. Autam glaure distinggwishaz much uv tha staet, espeshale in the aireas, frum Sumerst tthru Susaks Kounte, morkt bi lo mountanz, hwair multeekulerd leevz apeer toogether, piald up, ro apon ro, beefaur yaur iez. Spring afaurdz tuerists maagnifisant displaez uv blosaming treez, esp. in ouar airea, Esaks Kounte, hwich iz fild tu oeverfloeing witth flouwering / flouaring chere treez uv shaedz fru hwiet tu deep pingk. Aand then, in sumer, we'r baak tu tha byuetifool saandz uv tha Jerze Shaur, frum Saande Hook Bae tu Bornagat Bae, tu tha Delawair River wuterfrunt aul tha wae tu tha Kaamdan riverfrunt aand its Akwaiream. Faur les thaan a taangk uv gaasaleen — aand aat tha prezant reeduest kaust uv gaasaleen, hwich iz beelo $1.50 per gaalan aat sum staeshanz — Nu Jerzeanz kaan spend inuemberabool ouarz on plezhurabool aand byuetifool tiemz in this smaul staet. If yu or not proud tu be a Nu Jerzean, perhaaps yu shood be. Tri it. Yu'l liek it. I wuz baurn heer (tho I livd faur 35 yeerz in Manhaatan). But if I haad not bin baurn in N.J., I miet stil wish I haad bin.
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