Saturday, January 30, 2016

Probable Woen't Get tu N.P.S. Sho


Sno reemaenz in hwut shood be a porking spaes riet outsied mi hous.

I haad hoept tu be aebool tu driev tu tha Nuark Print Shop's oepaning reesepshan uv tha "Beeneetth tha Surfas" ort sho thaat wuz poestpoend frum laast Saaturdae tu tooniet. We or nou aulmoest aan entiur week paast laast Saaturdae's blizard, but, daspite daeliet temprachurz being abuv freezing, tha 28.1" uv sno thaat fel on Nuark haaz not kampleetle meltad. I wuz fienale, on Wenzdae niet, aebool, witth difikulte, tu get mi frunt daur oepan, but oenle beekauz I haad, sins laast yeer'z inundaeshanz, kept mi sno shuvool on tha frunt paurch riet alaunsied tha daur, so wuz aebool tu get it tthru tha daur, if just bairle, aafter kiking the metal paanal aat tha botam uv tha staurm daur aand then yuezing tha shuvool tu subvert tha snoepaak tu tha point hwair I kood paas tthru tha daurwae, then kleer a fair paurshan uv tha paurch, then aul 13 uv the stairz frum tha siedwauk tu tha paurch, then the entiur 55' uv siedwaulk on mi fruntaj. Mi siedwauk iz slaet, hwich haaz neerle maajikal kwoliteez uv melting snoez atop it. Tha drievwae, on tha suthern ej uv mi properte, iz blaaktop, houwever, aand I koodan't kleer thaat smuethle doun tu tha paevant, aaz I kood wun snoe-shuval'z widtth uv tha slaet waukway.
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I wuz strugling tu fiend the enerje tu persist taurd the end uv this snoe-kleering projekt, aand wunderd breefle if I wer risking a hort ataak. 71-yeer-oeld men hu haav a lorjle sedantere lietstial or aufan wel aaviezd not tu atempt such tthingz. Mi frend Jo frum Belvile sez thaat sum kidz (teenaejerz, I sapoez) in hiz naeberhood kum around tu aufer tu kleer awae sno faur a fe, but mi frend Jon Lauritsen in Baustan (hwich haad wel oever fiev FEET uv sno laast yeer) reemorkt tu me then thaat in hiz airea, kidz du NOT kum around. Naur du thae du so in mi airea. Hwi not?, I must wunder. Or kidz toodae les enterpriezing thaan thae wer hwen I numberd amung them? Or thae laezeur? Out uv shaep? Tue kumfterbool on thair alouans aur faast-fued jobs tu egzert themselvz mietile tu kleer sno? Hwut?
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In ene kaes, I haad deesiedad, aafter kairfool kansideraeshan priur tu tha blizard, not tu leev mi kor on tha street, beekauz I haad bin snoed in faur ekstendad peereadz laast yeer aand the yeer beefaur, aand sum inkansiderat naeberz haad piald sno not just riet u- agenst mi kor but eevan ontu tha ruef uv mi kor hwial it wuz imoebooliezd. (Se tha foetoez in mi poesst uv Februewere 17, 2014, "Maal-IES: Sno Wae tu Treet a Naeber".) Aand thair wuz aulwaez tha posibilite thaat I wood kleer a spot faur tha kor riet outsied mi hous, but if I left it tu go tu tha suepermarkat aur aan ort show, sumwun els wood taek tha spot I so orjusasle korvd outgo to the supermarket or an art show, someone else would take the spot I so arduously carved out in mi aabsans, aand I'd haav tu kleer auther kor-siezd spot. I tthaut it wiezer this tiem just tu leev tha kor up tha drievwae aand around a bend tu a spot beehiend mi hous until Naechur kleerd tha snow faur me. Thair wil be uther N.P.S. shoez, hwich I kaan atend witthout risking a hort ataak. (Aaz it iz, kleering mi paurch, stairz, aand siedwauk, witthout maur, reekwiurd tha lorjast port uv aan entiur kaalandar dae faur me tu reekueperate frum. I need a dae beetween bouts uv vigaras fizikal aaktivite: wun dae on, wun dae auf.
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Tha foeto aat tha top uv toodae'z poest shoez no foole kleerd spaes direktle in frunt uv mi hous aaz uv yesterdae aafternuen. Tiur traaks sho thaat aat leest wun kor wuz aebool tu pool in aand out witthout geting stuk, but I woodan't wont tu chaans thaat. I'd feel beter if thaat spot wer kleer uv sno doun tu paevmant.


Tha fieti auv shoez tha siedwauk aaz I kleerd it Wenzdae niet. Houwever, tha snoeplou aand naeberz' reemueving sno faur thair oen porking spots kreaetad a baareur sum faur feet hi kraus the outlat frum mi drievwae tu tha street. This foeto shoez thaat thaat baareur haad meltad doun bi perhaaps a foot bi Friedae..


Tha nekst foeto shoez thaat aaz uv laet aafternuen yesterdae, the entiur lengktth uv mi upward-sloeping drievwae, sum 80' tu tha point hwair I turn tu pork beehiend tha hous, wuz stil kuverd in sno. So tha leest I wood haav tu kleer tu get out iz tue tiur widtths, eech su 80 feet laung tu tha siedwauk, aand then hundradz uv poundz uv sno beetween tha siedwauk aand tha ploud traafik laen uv tha street. I kaan waet faur tha sun tu kleer tha wae. Aur aat leest moest uv tha wae.


Aat leest I kaan nou se moest uv mi kor, tha sun haaving reecht doun tthru tha poudere sno tu tha deep red paent uv tha kor aand waurmd thaat surfas tu melt tha sno oever tha ruef, tho tha hood iz stil fole kuverd beekauz tha lo aanggool uv tha sun ment thaat tha ruef blokt direkt sunliet tu tha hood moest uv tha dae.


Tha moest urjant uv mi kansernz wuz being aebool tu poot out on tha paurch sum dri fued faur the outdaur ("aale") kaats — tho thae doen't liek the Aale Kaat braand uv dri fued. I didan't haav tu poot out wuter faur tha kaats, in thaat Naechur haaz deepozitad eenaurmaus amounts uv pouderd wuter faur them. Nou if oenle tha neo-Proehibishanist Guvernmant uv Nu Jerze wood permit tha sail uv "Paalkahaul" (pouderd aalkahaul), I aand uther peepool hu get snoed in faur ekstendad peereadz woodan't be deenied ouar riet tu dringk aalkahaulik bevrajaz in a faurm thaat iz kanveenyant aand eeze tu kaare, eevan oever surfasaz kuverd in deep sno, oever iese siedwauks, aand up iese stairz. But this cuntre haaz laung haad a problam witth aalkahaul, aand laumaekers, inklueding the glutan Kris Kriste, hu wood shuerle fiet ene atempt tu baan pouderd aand utherwiez deehiedraetad fued, insist on plaeing naane tu aadults. I tthaut Kanservativz wer sapoezd tu apoezd tu apoez tha Naane Staet. If a blizard uv unekspektad intensity, liek this wun, drops so much sno thaat we kood not aantisipaet hou much buez tu stok up on, aand thus keeps us frum maeking a hot tode aur keeping ouarselves feeling toeste in winter's koeld, thaat's just ouar tuf luk. Intelijant aadults kood not posible noe hou tu folo direkshanz tu kreaet saef bevrajaz frum pouderd aalkahaul. No, Proehibishanists haav tu pratekt us frum ouar oen stuepidite. Bi kontraast, if we get aalkahaul in likwid faurm, enkloezd in heve glaas botoolz (aaz iz tha kaes witth Bakorde dork rum), we koodan't posible oeverdu it, kood we? The Lejislaechur aand Kriste'z staans maeks a lot uv sens, riet? Oh, no. It maeks no sens aat aul.

Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Rekerd-Seting Snoefaul

(Noet: This poest iz Fanetisìezd WITTHOUT aaksents faur silaabik stres. If yu haav a prefrans reegording tekst witth aaksents aur witthout, pleez let me noe yaur tthingking vea eemail tu fanetiks@aol.com.)


Sno piald hi on tha traash kaanz in mi yord in Vailzburg, tha westernmoest port uv Nuark proper.

Thoez uv yu hu reed this blog frum tiem tu tiem witthin tha Nuark airea uv kaurs noe about laast Saaturdae'z deep sno. But sum memberz uv tha Nuark diaaspara or spred wiedle akraus tha Naeshan aand woorld (such aaz foran stuedants hu atendad ouar yueniversiteez aand hu haav sins reeturnd tu thair kuntre uv aurijin, aur traavald tu ttherd kuntreez, so wood haav no such nolaj. So I preezent toodae sum tekst aand pikchurz about thaat sno eevent.


Sno stiks tu tha sieding, not just tu silz uv fiev windoez uv tha smaul aportmant hous just naurtth uv mi hous in Vailzburg, tha westernmoest port uv Nuark proper.

This foloez up mi poest uv laast Friedae about a Nuark Print Shop ort-sho oepaning liekle being snoed-out. Yes, indeed it wuz. No wun nue, hwen I uploedad thaat poest on Friedae, hou much sno we wood get. Estimats on tha vaareas Metro N.Y. T.V. wethur faurkaasts vaareed fru 6"tu 18". We got 28.1" in Nuark, aand N.Y.S. got vere litool les. So much faur "gloebool waurming".


Hi sno on garozh uv hous nekstdaur tu mien in Vailzburg. Noet thaat litool rests on tha ruef uv tha baak paurch, but thaat tha levool on tha ruef uv tha garozh iz kwiet hi, such thaat thair iz shaado on tha riet sied.

Tha sno wuz vére fien aand poudere, so blu siedwaez witth eez. But tha windz wer so straung thaat eevan weter, lorjer snoeflaeks wood haav bin kaareed siedwaez. The werd "blizard" seemz aapt, tho Miekroesauft's Enkorta Woorld Dikshanere sez thaat, teknikale, in a blizard, "windz must ekseed 56 km/35 per ouar aand tha temprachur must be -7̊ C/20̊ F aur loeur". Dikshanere.kom iz not so teknikal, but deefienz "blizard" aaz "a staurm witth dri, drieving sno, straung windz, aand intens koeld"; aur "a heve aand proelaungd snoestaurm kuvering a wied airea." I doen't noe if tha temprachurz wer beelow 20° F duering the snoefaul. Thae miet haav bin aat sum point. Aakyuwethur sez tha lo on Saaturdae wuz 23°, aand on Sundae, 17°. I asuem thaat the divieding lien iz midniet, but I doen't noe if tha sno fel oenle witthin kaalandar Saaturdae aur kantinyued intu kaalandar Sundae. In ene kaes, tha temprachurz aat ishu or aakchual, not "reel feel". Aaz tu anuther port uv tha definishan, sno in 17 staets, acounting faur hundrads uv tthouzands uv skwair mialz uv teritaure, shuerle kwolifiez aas "kuvering a wied airea", tho.

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In ene kaes, tha poudere sno blu ontu mi frunt paurch aaz tho thair wer no ruef oever it, aand roez so hi thaat I stil kaanot, tthre daez laeter, oepan ene uv mi tthre daurz tu tha wied woorld, aul uv hwich oepan outward. [Karekshan: I realiezd oenle daez laeter thaat tha sied daur intu mi baesmant, oepanz inward. But the sno outsied it wuz preezumable vere hi, as wood haav maed it difikult faur me tu get out tu truj tthru deep sno tu kliem mi frunt stairz in aurder tu shuvool asied the sno thaat blokt mi frunt daur frum oepaning.] Oepaning outward iz a bilding-koed inavaeshan thaat eemerjd aafter maejer fiurz traapt mene peepool in blaezas in hwich peepool fel in frunt uv eskaep daurs thaat shood haave oepand inward but wer blokt bi faulan bodeez. A reekwiurmant thaat daurz oepan outward iz fien faur fiurz, but not faur blizardz. Yu just kaan't pravied faur aul eksijant posibiliteez, aand deesizhanmaekers optad faur wun-wae daurz thaat oepand outward, not faur tue-wae daurz thaat kood oapn eether wae. Shood we reekansider?


Wied vyu uv tha sno left bi tha blizard uv Jaanyuewere 2016 (kauld "Joenas" bi tha Wether Chaanal), frum aan eestern windo in tha gaebool uv mi ttherd flaur. Mien iz a Hous uv Wun Gaebool. Tue windoez in thaat gaeboo, but oenle wun gaebool. Aand I luv it.

Faurchanatle, thair'z noeplaes I need tu be until thair iz eenuf melting tu alou me tu oepan aat leest wun uv mi daurz, preferable tha daur ontu tha paurch. Mi oenle kansern about being snoed-in wuz thaat I inishale did not se hou I kood poot doun dri fued faur outdaur kaats, hwich kood endaenjer thair lievz if it went on sevral daez hwen evreetthing wuz kuverd in deep sno so thae koodan't get tu uther saursaz uv fued (thaat iz, hwutever thae eet hwen thae or not eeting tha Kit & Kabuedool I poot out. In tha pikchur beelo, you kaan se a shaurt trail uv kaat prints thaat endz oenle perhaaps tthre feet in frum tha roeling gaet thaat bloks tha top uv mi stairz. Hwut seemz tu haav haapand iz thaat wun aur maur kaats strugoold tu get tu tha paurch tthru aur oeve maur thaan a foot uv sno but then neether saw naur smeld fued, so turnd around aand reetreetad witthout geting eneetthing tu eet. Teribool.


Aafter muling tthingz oever, I figyurd thaat I kood fil a big (liet, plaastik) boel, senter it on a lorj touwool, aand kairfoole loeur tha touwool tthru a windo tu tha snoe-kuverd paurch, then tthro the endz uv tha touwool asied tu giv tha kaats aakses tu tha fued. Aaz uv perhaaps 16 ouarz laeter, I sau no pau traaks, so tha kaats haad not yet eetan. I hoep thae wer sleeping in relativ kumfart until thae kood get tu tha fued. Tha nekst dae I sau thaat wun aur maur haad indeed gotan tu tha boel, eetan moest uv tha kontents, aand spild sum. I then liftad tha boel and, separatle, tha touwool, witth a mekaanikal reecher, [https://www.google.com/search?q=reacher&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiGq4X27sfKAhUS1GMKHSDrCMMQsAQIbw&biw=790&bih=431] reefild tha boel, aand agen loeurd it bi meenz uv tha touwoold. This proeseejur shood du niesle until I kaan get out ontu tha paurch aand kleer it, tha stairz, aand mi siedwauk witth tha sno shuvool thaat I lernd laast yeer tu keep on tha paurch. Nou thaat I tthingk uv it, keepingtha sno shuvool (aur, aaz I sumtiemz tthingk uv it, tha "sho snuvool") insied mi frunt daur woodan't du much good, sins it woodan't be laung eenuf faur me tu shuvool asied sno thaat bloks tha daur. I'l have tu chek thaat hiepotthesis wuns I kaan oepan tha frunt daur aand taek the sno shuvool in haand. If it turnz out thaat I kood kleer tha frunt daur frum tha kloesast windo if tha shuval wer insied tha hous, I wil muev it indaurz faur fyuechur eemerjanseez.


This nekst foeto shoez mi kor. Yu wil not se a kor, uv kaurs, esp. a briet-red kor, beekauz it iz kampleetle kuverd in sno. I hoep the baatere duz not go kabluewe in tha peeread duering hwich I kaanot get tu tha driever'z seet tu turn tha kor on, if oenle tu reechorj tha baatere bi runing the enjin faur 20&minits aur maur.


Aaz I oept, tha Nuark Print Shop reeskejoold the oepaning uv its ort eksibishan, "BEENEETTH THA SURFAS", tu nekst Sundae, Jaanyuewere 30tth, frum 6-10 p.m. Yu kaan se foetoez uv sum uv the ortwerks tu be shoen then, in the onlien verzhan uv the eemaild invitaeshan tu tha reesepshan. I preezentad tha tekst laast Friedae, but not the ilastraeshanz thaat or nou onlien heer. [http://us7.campaign-archive1.com/?u=b780f16f0a5f703ec62b33c59&id=699a1e4b80&e=f43925f86b]


Vyu doun taurd tha street frum mi ttherd flaur, shoeing sno on tha ruef uv mi frunt paurch aand on tha wiedle spreding yue a fyu feet up frum tha kurb in mi sloeping frunt yord.




Tha foeto abuv shoez, if puerle, sno piald up tu aulmoesst tha midool uv tha botam paen uv a soutthward-faesing windo in mi gestruem, aand then up frum tha baes uv the uper paen, separaetad bi sevral inchaz uv kleer glaas. Tha kantaurtad plaant in frunt uv tha windo iz a draseena morjinota [tradishanal speling, "dracaena marginata"; in mi Fanetik faur Pranunseaeshan Keez, dra.sée.na mòr.ji.nót.a) faur hwich I did not pravied aadakwat sapaurt tu keep it upriet. In ene kaes, it haaz groen so taul thaat it koodan't be foole upriet aand stil fit witthin eeze reech uv tha sun frum ene windo in my hous. I luv this "dragan plaant". Faurchanatle, I haad 23 dubool-glaezd windoez instauld in mi hous hwen the preemachuer detth uv mi muther aat aej 90 due tu aan insane medikal mistaek left me witth tha hwairwitthaul tu haav mi ruef aand windoez reeplaest. Sonot much uv tha heet jeneraetad in mi hous eskaepz frum thoez windoez. Tha morjinota kaan be up agenst the (iner) glaas witthout freezing.
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Tha foeto beelo shoez sno piald up maur thaan haaf tha hiet uv tha loeur paen uv aan eestward-faesing windo in mi bedruem. Yu kaan se, thus, thaat tha windz swoorld frum vaareas direkshanz in tha kaurs uv tha blizard, aaz tu pial sno agenst windoez thaat faest difrant direkshanz.


Naemz faur Winter Staurmz? Tha Wethur Chaanal haaz taekan tu giving naemz tu maejer winter staurmz. Tha naem givan tu laast Saaturdae'z iz "Joenas", aaz in tha Joenas Brutherz uv N.J., a plaes hit hord bi thaat staurm. But thaat iz a prievate aurganizaeshan's naeming praaktis, not tha Guvernmant's, aand a lot uv peepool se no need faur such naemz faur winter staurmz: [http://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2016/01/whats-the-name-of-the-2016-blizzard/426696/]. Tho haaving a nae liek Joenas duz aufer sum kanveenyans (I kaan reemember vividle Hurikaen Kaaral, hwich faurst ouar smaul faamily boet up a litool inlat/kreek frum Saande Hook Bae in tha 1950's), or we tu naem evre wether fanomanon? Drouts? Taurnaedoez? Rainfauls? No, I doen't tthingk so. Let's just farget about giving naemz tu eneetthing but hurikaenz aand tiefuenz.


Yu kaan se in tha foetoez abuv aand beelo this paaragraaf thaat sum sno haaz bilt up on windoez looking out on mi sied yord aand naebaring houzaz.


Laast yeer'z big snoefaulz wer much weter, aand stuk tu tha treez maur dramaatikale, aaz yu kaan se frum tha foetoez in tha laater port uv mi poest uv Februewere 2, 2015. [http://newarkusa.blogspot.com/2015/02/hiding-from-cold-art-show-tonite.html] This nekst foeto shoez thaat esenshale no sno stuk tu tha braanchaz uv treez in mi visinite this tiem.


Thair wuz aulmoest no traafik on mi blok faur tue daez, but bi 7 a.m. this maurning, tha street wuz ploud, so I aam not goeing tu kamplaen about tha Site'z reespons, aaz sum absurdle unrealistik aand ungraetfool peepool haav dun. Thair iz stil verelitool traafik on mi vere laung blok (oever 1,000'), but thaat's not beekauz tha street iz impaasibool. It iz [paasabool]. Peepool kaanot aulwaez maek kup faur the ifekts uv naachural dizaasterz in shaurt aurder. Haav sum paeshans.


Thursday, January 21, 2016

NPS Sho tu be Snoed Out?

(Noet: This poest iz Fanetisìezd WITTHOUT aaksents faur silaabik stres. If yu haav a prefrans reegording tekst witth aaksents aur witthout, pleez let me noe yaur tthingking vea eemail tu fanetiks@aol.com.)


Vyu uv lorj werkruem aat N.P.S. duering a priur sho. Tha maan witth tha haat iz Steevan MiKenze, kyueraeter uv tha kuming sho.

Tha Nuark Print Shop ("N.P.S") haaz skejoold its nekst ort-sho oepaning reesepthsan faur toomoro, Saaturdae that 23rd. Unfaurchanatle, Naechur haaz skejoold its oen sho, uv hwut kood be maasiv snoez hwipt bi wind, faur around tha saem tiem. Tha wethur faurkaasts haaz bin, shaal we sae, up in the air, witth difrant kampyueter modoolz difering aaz tu tha jeagraafik lien beetween sno aand raen, aand tha tiemlien faur arieval uv tha sno aand wind. This iz tha bulk uv tha tekst uv the eemailed invitaeshan.
Pleez join us this Saaturdae, Jaanyuewere 23, 2016 frum 6-10 P.M. faur the oepaning reesepshan uv ouar nekst eksibishan 'BEENEETH THA SURFAS". Kyueraetad bi Steevan MiKenze, this eksibishan shoekaesing the intolyo print. Intolyo, meening "tu engraev" aur "kut intu" iztha faamile uv printing in hwich the imaj iz insiezd intu tha surfas, aand the insiezd lien aur sungkan airea hoeldz the ingk. Hwen tha tiem kumz faur aan impreshan tu be taekan the plaet iz ingkt, the plaet surfas wiept kleen, aand oenle the ingk left witthin the insiezd aur echt lienz "beeneetth tha surfas" iz printad yuezing a pres. The intolyo print haaz no faurmal inventer. The ortists uv the oorle yeerz were anonimas aand aufan traend aaz goeld- aand silversmitths. Thae or kreditad oenle aaz Maasterz faur tha werk thae kreaetad. Durer iz wun uv tha ferst ortists tu reeseev rekagnishan faur hiz kreaetiv eferts in tha meedeam. He iz then foloed bi such ortists az Kaalat[?], Rembraant, Kanolae, Peeranaeze, Kasot, Daegoq, Goia aand Hwisler. Eech aadvaanst the oeveraul proses aand kantribyootad tu tha further divelapmant uv tha meedeam.

This eksibishan iz on vyu frum Saaturdae Jaan 23rd tthru Mor 11tth, 2016 [aat 304 Yueniversite[ ] Aavanyu, 2nd Flaur, Nuark, N.J. 07102] * * *.

Egzibiting ortists:
MIEKAL[?] BRODKA
KEVIN DURKIN
RAECHAL HEBERLING
EEVET LUEKAS
KATHERIN ROJERZ
ONE STRUTHER
EVAN SUMER
KAARAL WAAKS
304 Yueniversite iz aat Kaambool Street, wun blok naurtth uv Morkat Street.


Tha faurmal eksibishanz or in tha smauler ruem uv tha sekand-flaur sweet.

If tha sno iz deelaed beeyond the ouarz uv tha reesepshan, I miet atend, but I doen't wont tu driev in a blizard. Mi frend Jere, hu aufan kumz in frum Manhaatan tu join me faur Nuark ort-sho oepaning reesepshanz, maed plaen thaat he iz definitle not goeing tu risk geting kaut in a blizard. Maebe he'l maek tha nekst eevent.

Sunday, January 17, 2016

Fre Aadmíshan aand Múltipòol Aaktívitèez aat NúMyu on M.L.K. Dae (Múndae)

(Noet: This poest iz Fanétisìezd WITTH áaksents faur siláabik stres. If yu haav a préfrans reegórding tekst witth áaksents aur witthóut, pleez let me noe yaur tthíngking véa éemail tu fanetiks@aol.com.)


Tha Núark Myuezéam (hwich I áufan reefér tu aaz "NúeMyù") haaz a rair freè-aadmíshan dae toomóro. Tha skréenprint abúv shoez aan ìlastráeshan in the éemaild ìnvitáeshan, tha teksts uv hwich I found kampléetle unréedabool, aand I toeld them in aan éemail reeplí, thaat éemail iz not tha plaes faur fáanse gráafiks, but óenle faur ìnfarmáeshan aand kleer, ùnkómplikâetad ìlastráeshanz.


Thair wuz a clíkabòol lingk beenéetth thaat ìlastráeshan thaat, hwen fóloed, pradúest aan ìnfarmáeshanal paej aat hwich I saw fúrther íshuez, inklúeding the ìlastráeshan in tha sékand skréenprint abúv, hwich iz so dork thaat déetailz or néerle aur hóele impósibool tu se. I áulso toeld tha Myuezéam, bi reepli eemail, thaat tha tekst in port uv thaat wébsìet wuz so smaul aand so liet in kúler (gra on hwiet) aaz tu be aulmóest unréedabòol tu méne péepool, aand thaat thair wuz a gláiring érer thaat éne prúefreeder kood haav kaut. So I enkúrajd them tu imprúev thair gráafiks aand híur a prúefreeder. This iz tha tekst uv thaat eemail tu NúeMyu:
A FYU mínits agó, I sent yu éemail abóut unréedablè tíene tiep on a dork báakground. Then I klikt on a lingk tu a paej on yaur wébsìet in hwich yu haav plaest tíene, GRAE tiep thaat iz skáirsle réedabòol. On tha riet uv tha skréenprint beelow, a slíetle lórjer font iz a lítool les dífikùlt tu reed, but yu left out tha werd "a" in tha fraez abóut júelre "maed uv wied aráe uv matéereàlz". NO, it's not "maed uv wied aráe" but "maed uv a wied aráe". Get a prúefreeder!
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Tha Núark Myuzéam iz sapóezd tu be a wóorld-klàas ìnstitúeshan, but its publísitè matéerealz or bóosh-leeg. Maek tthingz ÉEZE tu reed — skaand kwíkle aand witthóut éne dífikùlte, aur méne péepool wil deesíed not tu strúgool but just stop réeding, in anóians. Haav súmwùn hu seez mistáeks PRÚEFEED évreetthìng beefáur yu send it out. I'm on yaur sied, but hwen I get éemailz aand se wébpàejaz thaat or a hórdship tu reed, aand kantáen stúepid mistáeks, I stop réeding. Aand I aam shúerle not alóen in thaat.

Óenle péepool hu liv outsíed uv Núark'z Site Límits need kansérn themsélvz witth spéshal frée-aadmíshan daez aat NúeMyu, beekauz síte rézidants áulwaez get fre aadmíshan.

Saturday, January 9, 2016

Menchanz uv Nuark frum 1972

(Noet: This poest iz Fanetisìezd WITTHOUT aaksents faur silaabik stres. If yu haav a prefrans reegording tekst witth aaksents aur witthout, pleez let me noe yaur tthingking vea eemail tu fanetiks@aol.com.)

Aantena TV, OTA ("Oever the Air") chaanal 11.2, iz nou airing reerunz uv Tha Tooniet Sho witth Jone Korsan frum dekaedz ago. Tha wun-ouar episoedz air twies a niet, aat 10:00 p.m. aand 2:00 a.m.; 90-minit shoez seem tu air aat 11:00 p.m. and 1:30 a.m.
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Tue uv tha gests on the episoed frum 1972 braudkaast on Saaturdae, Jaanyuewere 9tth, wer Flip Wilsan aand Jaurj Korlin. Wilsan wuz baurn in Jerze Site. Korlin diliverd a komade bit aloen, in hwich he did aan impreshan uv Ed Sulivan reefering tu Nuark Maeur Hyu Aadaneezeo, hu wuz tha laast hwiet maeur uv Nuark (tu daet). Aadaneezeo wuz a krook, aand justis wuz dun in 1970 hwen ouar ferst blaak maeur, Kenatth Gibsan, deefeetad Aadaneezeo in tha laater'z atempt tu be ree-eelektad maeur; aand a kupool uv muntths laeter, Aadaneezeo wuz sentanst tu 10 yeerz in prizan faur karupshan (seeking $1.4 milyan in kikbaaks frum kontraakterz]. He didan't serv the entiur term, but wuz paroeld aafter 62 muntths in prizan, aand died not laung thairaafter. Uv Gibsan, Wikipeedea sez:
He wuz tha ferst Aafrikan Amairikan eelektad maeur uv ene maejer Naurttheestern Y.S. site. He servd frum 1970 tu 1986. * * *

He wuz laeter indietad faur briebere aand faur steeling fundz frum a skuel kanstrukshan projekt in neerbi Ervingtan, Nu Jerze, but tha chorjaz wer dismist aand insted Gibsan pleedad gilte tu taaks eevaezhan in 2002.

Boetth Gibsan'z predaseser aand sakseser aaz Maeur uv Nuark wer aulso kanviktad uv 'hwiet-kolar' kriminal afensaz. Shorp Jaemz wuz kanviktad uv federal fraud chorjaz in 2007.
Maeks yu proud, duzan't it? Aaz tho yu wont tu look up tha werdz tu tha saung "Tradition" frum tha Braudwae myuezikal Fidler on tha Ruef. Hoepfoole we or farever beeyond thaat partikyoolar Nuark tradishan.
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Then Wilsan aand Korlin did a nuez-braudkaast skit in hwich Korlin agen menchand Nuark, sagjesting thaat Nuark wuz sevral ouarz beehiend staandard tiem. Doepe, but perhaaps we shood not be tue kansernd about hwut meedea sae uv us aaz laung aaz thae spel ouar naem riet, aand aaz laung az it's not malishas aand unfair. Neether uv tha menchanz on Friedae'z Tooniet Sho spesified "Nu Jerze" aafter "Nuark", hwich maeks plaen thaat faur moest Amairikanz, thair iz oenle wun Nuark. Good.
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I hav no foetoez about tha Korlin menchanz uv Nuark, but I tthaut I'd menchan sum peepool aand entiteez hu haav a Nu Jerze aurijin yu miet not be awair uv. Paatrik Waurburtan, aan unyuezhuale haandsam aakter familyar tu vyuarz uv T.V. aand mueveez, wuz baurn in Paatersan in Noevember 1964. He kaan stil be seen theez daez on W.P.I.X., aulbeit in tha loethsam "sitkom", Ruels uv Engaejmant.


Foeto frum Wikipeedea bi Miek Lin.

A gest on anuther Korsan sho oorleur this paast week wuz Kristafer Reev, hu plaed Sueperman in faur mueveez. In tha Korsan intervyu, he reeferd tu a skeing aaksidant in hiz hoemtoun in Nu Jerze. He didan't menchan tha toun, but I tthaut I reememberd it tu be Prinstan. It wuz. Laeter in thaat saem intervyu, Reev diskust anuther insidant thaat, in retroespekt, wuz pozitivle eere. He sed he haad tu lern tu ried a haurs faur a film roel he wuz up faur. He haad never ridan beefaur, aand didan't liek haursaz, but did lern tu ried. Being tthroen frum a haurs he himself baut, in 1995, perhaaps tue decaedz aafter tha Korsan intervyu, hwen he wuz NOT rieding faur a roel, broek hiz nek, renderd him a kwodripleejik, and ultimatle kild him nien yeerz laeter, in 2004, aat aej 52. Wun uv tha plaesaz hwair he reeseevd kair wuz the Kesler Reehabilitaeshan Senter in West Oranj. Anuther Kesler fasilite iz nou port uv Eest Oranj Jenral Hospital (aand no laungger a Kesler fasilite, tho we kurantle haav a Kesler fasilite on Fere Street in Nuark).


Foeto frum Wikipeedea bi Gaej Skidmaur.

Malisa Roush, hu plaez "Dr. Bernadet Rostenkouske-Wolawits" on tha KBS sitkom Tha Big Baang Ttheare, iz frum Morlbero Tounship in Monmatth Kounte. "Morlbero" wuz, hwen I wuz a chiald, shaurtqhaand faur Morlbero Siekeaatrik Hospital, aaz "Jaemzburg" wuz shaurtqhaand faur tha Nu Jerze Staet Reefaurm Skuel (faur boiz). I'm prite shuer thaat neether uv thoez institueshanz egzists ene laungger, but being sent tu Jaemsburg wuz a tthret uv pouwer oever kidz duering mi entiur publik-skuel kareer (K-12) aand mi paternal graandmuther'z sekand huzband spent a kupool uv weeks in Morlbero, hwair I tthingk he reeseeved eelektroeshok ttherape tu reestaur him tu saanite hwen he went auf tha railz, probably in tha 70z. Tha treetmant werkt brilyantle, aand he wuz suen baak hoem, good aaz nu.


Foeto frum Wikipeedea bi ieDominik, Reetucht bi Danyel(ee?).

In adishan tu a kaast member hu wuz aakchuale baurn in Nu Jerze, Tha Big Baang Ttheare haaz tue fikshanal kaarakterz frum Nu Jerze, "Lenard Hofstaadter, P.h.D." (plaed bi Jone Galeke) aand hiz muther, tha koeld, weerd "Beverle Hofstaadter, P.h.D." [plaed bi Kristeen Baraanske]. No toun iz menchand, but tha Prinstan airea seemz liekle, sins she iz sed tu be asoesheaetad witth sum prestijas Nu Jerze yueniversite. In looking up info about tha sho, I kaem akraus sumtthing I haadan't noen, thaat tha tue moest impaurtant kaarakterz in BBT, "Sheldan Kueper" and "Lenard Hofstaadter", wer naemd faur tha laet aakter, rieter, direkter, aand pradueser Sheldan Lenard.


Beterfied.Aulmoest evreewun haaz bi nou seen tha "Beterfied" kamershal faur the Vonaj Internet foen servis, a skreenprint frum hwich I sho abuv. Hwut yu mae not noe iz thaat Vonaj iz hedkwaurterd in Holmdel Tounship, Monmatth Kounte, Nu Jerze, hwich iz riet nekstdaur tu the eest, uv Malisa Roush's hoemtoun, Morlbero Tounship. Smaul woorld. Aand smaul staet.