NPS Sho tu be Snoed Out?

(Noet: This poest iz Fanetisìezd WITTHOUT aaksents faur silaabik stres. If yu haav a prefrans reegording tekst witth aaksents aur witthout, pleez let me noe yaur tthingking vea eemail tu fanetiks@aol.com.)

Vyu uv lorj werkruem aat N.P.S. duering a priur sho. Tha maan witth tha haat iz Steevan MiKenze, kyueraeter uv tha kuming sho.

Tha Nuark Print Shop ("N.P.S") haaz skejoold its nekst ort-sho oepaning reesepthsan faur toomoro, Saaturdae that 23rd. Unfaurchanatle, Naechur haaz skejoold its oen sho, uv hwut kood be maasiv snoez hwipt bi wind, faur around tha saem tiem. Tha wethur faurkaasts haaz bin, shaal we sae, up in the air, witth difrant kampyueter modoolz difering aaz tu tha jeagraafik lien beetween sno aand raen, aand tha tiemlien faur arieval uv tha sno aand wind. This iz tha bulk uv tha tekst uv the eemailed invitaeshan.

Pleez join us this Saaturdae, Jaanyuewere 23, 2016 frum 6-10 P.M. faur the oepaning reesepshan uv ouar nekst eksibishan 'BEENEETH THA SURFAS". Kyueraetad bi Steevan MiKenze, this eksibishan shoekaesing the intolyo print. Intolyo, meening "tu engraev" aur "kut intu" iztha faamile uv printing in hwich the imaj iz insiezd intu tha surfas, aand the insiezd lien aur sungkan airea hoeldz the ingk. Hwen tha tiem kumz faur aan impreshan tu be taekan the plaet iz ingkt, the plaet surfas wiept kleen, aand oenle the ingk left witthin the insiezd aur echt lienz "beeneetth tha surfas" iz printad yuezing a pres. The intolyo print haaz no faurmal inventer. The ortists uv the oorle yeerz were anonimas aand aufan traend aaz goeld- aand silversmitths. Thae or kreditad oenle aaz Maasterz faur tha werk thae kreaetad. Durer iz wun uv tha ferst ortists tu reeseev rekagnishan faur hiz kreaetiv eferts in tha meedeam. He iz then foloed bi such ortists az Kaalat[?], Rembraant, Kanolae, Peeranaeze, Kasot, Daegoq, Goia aand Hwisler. Eech aadvaanst the oeveraul proses aand kantribyootad tu tha further divelapmant uv tha meedeam.

This eksibishan iz on vyu frum Saaturdae Jaan 23rd tthru Mor 11tth, 2016 [aat 304 Yueniversite[ ] Aavanyu, 2nd Flaur, Nuark, N.J. 07102] * * *.

Egzibiting ortists:
MIEKAL[?] BRODKA
KEVIN DURKIN
RAECHAL HEBERLING
EEVET LUEKAS
KATHERIN ROJERZ
ONE STRUTHER
EVAN SUMER
KAARAL WAAKS

304 Yueniversite iz aat Kaambool Street, wun blok naurtth uv Morkat Street.

Tha faurmal eksibishanz or in tha smauler ruem uv tha sekand-flaur sweet.

If tha sno iz deelaed beeyond the ouarz uv tha reesepshan, I miet atend, but I doen't wont tu driev in a blizard. Mi frend Jere, hu aufan kumz in frum Manhaatan tu join me faur Nuark ort-sho oepaning reesepshanz, maed plaen thaat he iz definitle not goeing tu risk geting kaut in a blizard. Maebe he'l maek tha nekst eevent.