Autam Kulerz; Fre Myuezeamz; "Sekand Sundaez" aat NueMyu

(Noet: This laungish poest, sum 1,300 werdz, witth 5 foetoez, iz Fanetisìezd WITTHOUT aaksents faur silaabik stres. If yu haav a prefrans reegording tekst witth aaksents aur witthout, pleez let me noe yaur tthingking vea eemail tu fanetiks@aol.com.)

It's thaat tiem agen, tha ferst fool weekend (Saaturdae aand Sundae) uv tha muntth, hwen Baangk uv Amairika'z "Myuezeamz on Us® proegraam" auferz

fre jenral aadmishan tu maur thaan 150 myuezeamz naeshanwied ...

Just preezent yaur Baangk uv Amairika aur Merool Linch kredit aur debit kord, alaung witth yaur foeto I.D.

I sho toodae a fyu foetoez uv autam kulerz in mi yord aur aaz seen frum mi hous in Vailzburg, tha westernmoest port uv Nuark proper.

I haavan't bin tu tha Montklair Ort Myuezeam naur tha Moris Myuezeam in a laung tiem, aand wood aurdinerile wont tu vizit wun aur boetth on this "Myuezeamz on Us" weekend, tu yuez this unyuezhual benafit (esp. nou thaat BuvA iz chorjing me $25/muntth faur hwut yuezd tu be a fre cheking akount). I haad aulso wontad tu driev tu Braanch Brook Pork tu sho tha kulerz uv treez in tha visinite uv tha wunderfool fountan beetween the Lianz on tha Laek aand the Katthedral Basilika uv tha Saekrad Hort. But I'm haaving kor trubool aand dair not wonder tue for frum hoem. Miend yu, I shood not be haaving such trubool, sins I haad a nu baatere instauld aat the end uv Morch, aaz port uv vere ekstensiv, aand ekspensiv, reepairz. But thaat baatere wuz 'ded' sevral daez ago, aand I haad tu yuez a buester paak tu stort tha kor. In faakt, I tthingk I need a maur pouarfool buester paak, aur a sekand roedsied-asistans kumpane / aurganizaeshan, in that beefaur I haad mi Morch reepairz maed, I yuezd up aul faur uv mi aanyual AAA [sed aaz "Tripool-A"] eemerjanse kaulz. Tu get roedsied asistans frum AAA nou, I'd haav tu pae $40 per kaul, hwich thae dair tu term a "preeferd raet". Oe? Aanyual membership iz $60, hwich kuverz 4 jumpstorts aur toez (aur hwutever roedsied asistans iz kauld faur). Thaat werks out tu $15 per kaul. Hou, then, iz $40 per adishanal kaul a "preeferd raet"? I tthaut AAA wuz a nonprofit aurganizaeshan. Hwi wood it chorj 2⅔ aaz much faur aan adishanal roedsied kaul aaz tha raet inkluedad in aanyual membership? Thaat iz ABYUESIV, aand AAA shood be ashaemd uv itself. I'v bin a member sins 2003, aand did not yuez up mi 4 roedsied-asistans kaulz in moest uv thoez yeerz. I need tu du onlien reeserch tu fiend aan adishanal roedsied-asistans saurs tu suplamant (if not aultoogether reeplaes) tha AAA. (If yu noe uv a good wun, let ME noe, vea eemail tu reesurjanssite@aol.kom. [That traanzliteraetd eemail aadres wil not werk; oenle the staandard-spelling faurm wil werk: resurgencecity@aol.com.]

I wood fiend the chaenj uv kuler uv tha leevz in autam tu be byuetifool eksept thaat it signalz tha DETTH uv thoez leevz aand impending frijid, winter wethur, hwich I deetest. If tha treez dropt wun seezan'z leevz oenle tu ishu nu wunz imeedeatle thairaafter, thaat wood be wunderfool. But the ishu uv nu leevz duzan't akur until sum fiev aur siks muntths laeter. Duering aul thaat tiem, tha bulk uv treez in this airea or bair, aand the air, eevan in brilyant sunshien, iz koeld. Yekh.

Sekand Sundaez aat NueMyu. Eevan if I kaanot feel sikyuer in taeking mi kor out, eevan if it storts properle witthout a buester paak, I kaan sertanle taek tha bus Dountoun tu atend tha ferst akurans uv a nu inishativ bi tha Nuark Myuezeam, "Sekand Sundaez". Aaz a Nuark rezidant, I kaan aulwaez get fre aadmitans tu NuMyu, but if yu reezied outsied Nuark, eevan in a neer-in suburb, yu kaanot. If yu kwolifi faur BuvA'z "Myuezeamz on Us", houwever, this "Sekand Sundae" wood seem a vere good tiem tu yuez thaat benafit (givan thaat tha Nuark Myuezeam iz a partisipaeting institueshan). (Tha nekst tiem tha Myuezeamz on Us weekend aand Sekand Sundae koeinsied izan't until Mae.) Yu kaan vyu tha tekst uv the eemail inviet onlien bi kliking heer. Agen, I doen't noe hou tha vaareas auganizaeshanz thaat sho thair eemailz onlien du thaat, but it iz sertanle a kanveenyans tu me in leting mi reederz se the arijinal info witthout mi filter. The kwoetad mateereal beelo iz, houwever, maur thaan thaat invitaeshan, but the infarmaeshan aat tha Myuezeam's websiet about Sekand Sundaez.

Sekand Sundaez
Kik-Auf Eevent
Sundae, Noevember 8, nuen-5 p.m.

Sekand Sundaez, A Nu Seereez faur Aul Aejaz
Join us evre Sekand Sundae—Noevember tthru Juen—faur lekchurz, perfaurmansaz, ortist-led tuerz, ort/sians demanstraeshanz aand werkshops, myuezik aand a speshal brunch menyu.

Kik-auf: Noevember 8

In kanjungkshan witth Tha Shaep uv Liet: Gaebreal Dau, Outsied tha Lienz: Kuler Akraus tha Kalekshanz, aand Kroemaatiks: Minimalizam aand Kuler Feeld Eksperimants, proegram hieliets inklued:

BRUNCH: Kaeterd bi Daevid Elis Eevents
nuen - 2 p.m., Enggalhord Kaurt
Join us faur a speshal menyu uv deelishas treets, preepaird speshale faur Nuark Myuezeam viziterz. (Rezervaeshanz reekwiurd.) [Tha brunch iz ekspensive!: $19.75!]

Kreaetiv Plae-Teeching Apreesheaeshan

1, 2, & 3 p.m.

Taek a trip baak tu Kaloeneal tiemz tu vizit tha wun-ruem skuel hous [a bilding on tha Myuezeam'z groundz]. Viziterz wil kampair tha roel uv a teecher frum paast tu prezant aand sho thair apreesheaeshan bi embroidering a gift.

LEKCHUR: "How We Se Kuler" -- bi nuerosiantist aand ortist Bevool [??] Konwae
1 p.m., Bile Jonsan Auditauream

Join Nuerosiantist Bevool Konwae faur aan eksplaraeshan uv hou tha braen prosesaz kuler aand hou this vizhual prosesing shaeps ort praaktis.

ORTIST TAUK: Nuark Myuezeam tthru the Iez uv Gaalere Afero Ortists
2 p.m., Meet in tha Soutth Wing Roetunda
Aan Q. MiKean [??], Gaalere Afero Ortist in Rezidans[,] tuerz tha Myuezeam aand tauks about hwut inspiurz her aand tha waez thaat werks in tha kalekshan impaakt her oen werk aaz a paenter, printmaeker aand maaster paepermaeker.

PERFAURMANS: Aantwanet Montagyu, Jaaz Voekalist
3 p.m., Enggalhord Kaurt
Internaashanale rekagniezd, baurn aand raezd in Nuark, Aantwanet Montagyu bringz her "pouarfool" aand "soelfool" vois tu tha haulz uv tha Myuezeam, akumpaneed bi peaanist Daane [?? — laast naem not givan],

KONVERSAESHAN WITTH THE ORTIST
Jaemz Litool: Beeyond Jeomatre, Beeyond Raes
4 p.m., Bile Jonsan Auditauream
Ortist Jaemz Litool aand Amairikan Ort kyueraeter Trisha Lauflin [??] Bluem diskus Litool'z bode uv werk. Se hiz werk on vyu in tha Myuezeam'z eksibishan Outsied tha Lienz: Kuler Akraus tha Kalekshanz.

- Se maur aat: http://www.newarkmuseum.org/second-sunday-nov8-2015#sthash.StzVIXWl.dpuf

This aul soundz a litool egzausting tu me, but I aam neerle 71 yeerz oeld. Yu, houwever, miet fiend so fool a skejool uv eevents invigaraeting.